She Uban's Chronicles

We blog for edutainment!



by D. M. Larson

A woman, MRS. BAKER, goes to the river and looks around. There is some, GEORGE, hiding behind a tree DR (down right).  The river is DOWN off the edge of the stage.  Before the start of the play, you can have the audience practice being a river by waving your arms.  If you have a large cast of actors, then you can have them play the river in front of the audience.

BAKER          : George?   Are you here?

(George is behind a tree.  He is in shadow and can hardly be seen.)

GEORGE       : No, go away.

BAKER          : What’s wrong?

GEORGE       : Nothing.

(George cries loudly.)

BAKER   (to audience)   : It looks like he needs some cheering up. And I know
———————————-his favorite thing.  Gingerbread cookies!

(Mrs. Baker goes to the local village store with her shopping list.   The store can be as simple as a lemon-aid stand.  People are lined up.  MRS. VENDI is selling stuff.)

GUY               : I need 1 milk, 2 butters, 3 crackers, 4 apples and 5 gumdrops.

VENDI         : Do you want the regular gumdrops or magic ones?

GUY               : Regular please.

VENDI         : Here is your food.

GUY               : Thanks!

(He sticks his head in the bag and starts eating happily and leaves.  GAL walks up.)

GAL               : I need 5 hot dogs, 4 nut logs, 3 candy hogs, 2 pairs of togs and
1 gumdrop.

VENDI         : Regular gumdrops or magic ones?

GAL               : Regular.

VENDI         : Here you go.

(GAL walks off with her bag shaking and her making animal sounds.)

GAL               : Bark, oink, bark, oink.

(MRS. BAKER has her turn.)

VENDI         : How can I help you?

BAKER         : I need the following ingredients.  2/3 cup shortening, 1/2 cup
brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, a quarter teaspoon
of cloves, 2  teaspoons ground ginger…

VENDI         : Wait a minute!

BAKER         : What’s wrong?

VENDI         : You’re not making a Gingerbread Man again are you?

BAKER         : Nope.

(VENDI looks at BAKER suspiciously as she fills a bag with the ingredients.)

BAKER   (cont.)  : A pinch of salt, three-quarter cup of molasses,
————————-3 cups of flour, an egg…

(VENDI tosses egg into bag.  BAKER looks annoyed but continues.)

BAKER   (cont.)  : 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder, 1 teaspoon of
————————-    baking soda and…

VENDI         : Yes?

BAKER         : Gumdrops.

VENDI         : Regular or magic?

(VENDI looks at BAKER critically.  BAKER pauses dramatically and says…)

BAKER         : Magic!

VENDI         : You are making a Gingerbread Man!  Do you remember
——————–the last Gingerbread Man you made?  He nearly
——————–destroyed our village!  He scared the cows.

People (Farmer, Bo Peep, Mary, etc.) and animals (Cow, Cat, Sheep, etc.) gather.

COW              : Moo!

FARMER    : He came in the dell and took my dog and my cat!

CAT               : Meow!

FARMER    : The cat came back the very next day but my dog is still missing!

PEEP             : He made me lose my sheep.

SHEEP         : Baa!

MARY          : And he scared my little lamb so bad she follows me everywhere
now…to school, to church… she even followed me to the mall.
That is so uncool.

KID                : We’re doomed!

They all scream and run around.

BAKER        : I think you’re all overreacting.

ALL               : Doom on you.  Doom on you. Doom on you.

BAKER        : Sorry, but I’m buying the magic gumdrops.

(The people and animals watch in horror as VENDI gets out her radiation goggles and gloves and tongs and pulls out magic gumdrops from a special box. Lights flicker.  Ominous music is heard. Everyone runs away in horror.  Vendi puts them in bag and lights go back to normal and music stops.)

VENDI        : I can’t believe you lied to everyone.

BAKER        : I didn’t lie.  I’m not making a Gingerbread Man.  I’m making a
Gingerbread Girl.

(VENDI pushes her cart off and BAKER walks UC to her kitchen/lab.  IGOR, her hunchbacked assistant, comes out.)

IGOR            : I have the oven ready master.

BAKER        : Here are the ingredients.

(IGOR takes the ingredients. )

IGOR            : Did you get the magic gumdrops?

BAKER        : I did.

IGOR            : I shall prepare the batter.

BAKER        : Thank you, Igor.

(IGOR exits with bag.  FARMER and PEEP lead COPS onto stage and point at BAKER.)

FARMER    : She bought magic gumdrops.

PEEP             : I saw it too.  She’s going to destroy us all.

COP 1             : Just the facts, ma’am.

COP 2            : We’re on the case.

COP 3            : Lock and load.

(FARMER and PEEP leave as the three COPS pull out their guns.  The first draws a banana, the second draws a big squash, the third draws a long roll of French bread.  They walk up to BAKER’s house while dramatic police music plays.  BAKER rolls her eyes and confronts them.)

BAKER         : There’s nothing to see here.

COP 1             : Come quietly or there will be… trouble.

BAKER         : I did nothing wrong in the eyes of the law.

COP 2            : Do you feel lucky, Baker?

BAKER         : I know my 4th amendment rights.  You going to charge me
——————-with something?  If not, I going to nail you for police harassment.

COP 3            : Go ahead, make my day.

(Igor pushes in a table that looks like a giant baking tray and has a big bowl of batter on it.)

IGOR             : Master… I have prepared the… uh…

(Igor sees the cops.)

IGOR    (cont.)     : Perfectly innocent… uh… healthy… salad.

BAKER         : It’s okay, Igor.  There’s no law against making cookies.

COP 1             : There should be.

COP 2            : Let’s go boys.

COP 3            : But we’ve got our eyes on you, Baker.  Don’t try any funny business.

(COPS leave with police music.  They stop and do a few Charlie’s Angels poses and go.  Igor pours the batter onto the table (this can be done symbolically).

BAKER         : Little do they know, Igor, that this time I’m not making a
monster.I’m making a new kind of cookie.  A cookie that will be
kind,helpful and perhaps even love.

(A storm is heard in the distance and it is getting darker.)

IGOR             : The batter is ready, master.

BAKER         : Cover it up.  I hear a storm coming.

(Igor covers the table in aluminum foil and Baker gets out a lightening rod of some sort.  The storm grow louder and it gets darker.  The part of the stage with the table is totally dark and the switch with GINGER and the batter is made.  People and animals gather at the edge of the stage looking scared (or they can go in the audience and be scared and talk to audience member about how scary it is).  Their job is the distract the audience while the switch of batter for GINGER is made.)

BAKER   (cont.)   : We must hurry. There isn’t much time.

IGOR helps BAKER get the rod hooked up to the table by a wire and up in the air.

BAKER   (cont.)   : Where are the gumdrop buttons!

IGOR             : Here master.

BAKER adds the buttons to the tray.

IGOR             : Now!

Lighting (lights) flash.  Total darkness.  Screams.  People and animals leave.  Then lights come up.

BAKER         : She’s alive!

GINGER rises off the table.  She’s a gingerbread girl.  She looks like a cookie version of Ginger for Gilligan’s Island.

IGOR             : She’s beautiful.

BAKER         : She’s a work of art.

GINGER      : Mama?

BAKER         : Yes?

GINGER      : Mama.

IGOR             : Is that all she can say?

GINGER      : Maaa-ma.

BAKER         : Can you say your name?  Gin-ger.

GINGER      : Gin… ger.

BAKER         : She can be taught.

IGOR             : Can you teach her this?

IGOR rubs his tummy and pats his head.  GINGER does it.

IGOR   (cont.)   : Beautiful and smart.  Now try this…
————————“If you’re blue and you don’t know
————————where to go to, why don’t you go
————————where fashion sits…

IGOR does a silly dance.  GINGER tries but looks faint.

GINGER      : “Puttin on the Ritz.”

BAKER         : Stop… she looks tired.

BAKER rushes and gets a blanket and pillow.  She puts the blanket down on the ground and helps GINGER place her head on the pillow.

BAKER   (cont.)   : Sleep Ginger… Sleep.

GINGER      : Sleep.

BAKER         : Let’s go, Igor.

IGOR and BAKER leave.  Night sky with pretty stars appear.  Then a shadowy figure, MAN, appears.  He calls out in a faint ghostly voice.

MAN              : Run… run…

GINGER sits up.  She looks around.  MAN hides so he isn’t seen.  She tries to go back to sleep.

MAN  (cont.)   : Run… run… as fast as you can…

GINGER sits up again and looks scared.  She still doesn’t see the MAN who has gotten pretty close.  She tries to go back to sleep.

MAN   (cont.)  : Run… run… as fast as you can… you can’t catch me!

GINGER sits up and MAN is near her.  She screams.

GINGER      : Mama!

MAN quickly covers her mouth.

MAN              : Run, Ginger.  Run, run, away.

Lighting, thunder.  Then darkness.

GINGER      : Mama!

Lights come up and BAKER rushes in with IGOR.

BAKER         : What is it, Ginger?

GINGER points off where MAN was.

GINGER      : Run… run…

IGOR             : Run?

GINGER      : Run… run away.

BAKER         : She must have had a bad dream.

GINGER      : Run!

GINGER jumps up and runs off stage.

BAKER         : Stop her!

IGOR             : Here we go again.

BAKER and IGOR run off stage.   Animals wander on stage and settle down to sleep.  The FARMER walks out with a shovel (or pitchfork) and watches out for his animals.  Bo Peep leads out her sheep.

FARMER     : Don’t you worry.  I’ll keep an eye on these critters for you.

PEEP              : Thank you.  I’ll be at the mall with Mary if you need anything.

MARY enters with LAMB.

MARY            : No you’re not coming.

LAMB sits with other animals.  PEEP and MARY leave.  LAMB sneaks off after them.  FARMER watches.  Nothing but snoring animals can be heard.  He leans on his shovel and falls asleep.  MAN runs on.

MAN                : Run… run… fast as you can!

MAN runs off and GINGER runs on scared.  She steps on the dog’s tail and he barks.  GINGER screams.  Animals freak out.  FARMER falls and the animals trample him.  GINGER runs off.  Stage becomes clear except for FARMER who is motionless a moment.  Then he says:

FARMER       : Ow.

BAKER and IGOR enter.

BAKER            : Oh, no.

They help up FARMER.

FARMER        : You’ve done it again, Baker.  You have another monster on the

BAKER            : It can’t be.  I used the best ingredients on her.

FARMER        : It’s those magic gumdrops I tell you.  They’re cursed!

BAKER            : Let’s go, Igor.

IGOR                : Yes, Master.

All clear the stage.  GINGER comes on stage looking scared.  Sirens are heard.  GINGER runs and hides behind the tree. COPS run out and scramble.  They run into each other.  Fall.  Then they get up and run around again.  They end up capturing something behind the tree, but it’s not GINGER.  It’s LAMB.

COP 1                : Alright you… talk!

COP 2               : It’s okay… you can talk to us.

COP 3               : We can do this the easy way…

COP 1                : Or the hard way.

COP 2               : You can tell us anything.

COP 1                : Talk!  Or we’ll make you into a sweater.

COP 3               : Easy!

COP 1                : Sorry…

COP 2               : We know you’re innocent.  Just tell us what you saw.

LAMB              : Baaa!

COP 3               : I knew it!

COP 2               : Anything else?

LAMB              : Baa!

COP 3               : Of course!

COP 2               : Good, good.  And then what happened?

LAMB              : Baaaa.

COP 3               : That’s it!  Case closed.

COP 1                : Alright.  You can go, Lamb.  But don’t leave town.

LAMB rushes off stage.

COP 2               : So what did she say?

COP 3               : I have no clue.  I thought you understood her.

COP 1                : You knuckle heads.  Go get her.

COPS rush off.  GINGER comes out of hiding.  She hears crying.  She looks around tree.  She sees a FOX.

GINGER         : Hello?

FoX                    : Please, go away.

FOX cries more.  GINGER goes up to him and offer a tissue.

GINGER          : Here.

FOX                    : Thank you.

FOX blows noisily on the tissue.  He hands it back and GINGER tosses it.   FOX sees her better now.

FOX    (cont.)  : You’re… gingerbread!

GINGER nods.  FOX moans.

FOX    (cont.)  : Oh, I was hoping I’d never see another Gingerbread person ever again.

GINGER is sad and cries.

FOX    (cont.)  : I’m sorry.  That was a mean thing to say.
——————–It’s just that I ate the last Gingerbread person
——————–to come here and now I have a horrible tummy ache.

GINGER stops crying.

FOX    (cont.)  : I wish I could do something about it.
——————–It fills like he’s a big lump in my stomach
——————–that I can’t get out.

GINGER goes up to FOX and listens to his stomach.

MAN                  : Run… run… as fast as you can…

FOX sighs.

FOX                    : Yes, he’s still singing in there too.  I can’t sleep!

GINGER          : I will… help.

FOX                    : How?

GINGER takes FOX and pushes him into the river (off front of stage).  Actors playing water make waves or someone gets the audience to be waves.

FOX    (cont.)  : Help!  Help!  I can’t swim on a full stomach.  Oh, oh.  Cramp!  I’m going down.

BAKER and IGOR rush on along with COPS.  COPS grab GINGER.  She points at water.

FOX    (cont.)  : Somebody save the fox!  I’m going down again.  Good-bye cruel world!

FOX goes down.  BAKER jumps in the water.  Fox pops up one last time.

FOX    (cont.)  : Rosebud!

BAKER             : I got you.

IGOR and COPS help them back on stage.  FOX falls to the ground.  GINGER runs to him and pushes on his stomach.  The others rush and block the audiences view and the GINGERBREAD MAN pops up and they back away.

MAN                  : I’m free!  I’m free!

COP 1                 : You’re under arrest.

MAN                  : I’m not free.

COP 2                : We’re taking you downtown.

MAN                  : You’ll never take me alive.

COP 3                : Grab his gumdrops.

MAN                  : Not my gumdrop buttons!

COP 1 rips buttons off MAN.  MAN falls.  GINGER cries.

COP 1                 : Another job well done.

COP 2                : Coffee?

COP 3                : Sure!  Donuts?

COP 1                 : Certainly!  Let’s go.

GINGER is next to MAN.  BAKER tries to comfort her.

GINGER          : He’s like me.

BAKER             : He was.

GINGER          : I will help him.

GINGER pulls off one of her gumdrop buttons…

IGOR                 : No!

GINGER          : I’m okay.

IGOR                 : Oh.

GINGER puts the button on MAN.  He comes back to life.

MAN                  : You saved me.

BAKER             : He’s alive!

GINGER          : I saved him.

BAKER             : See… she can be taught.

IGOR                 : Quick.  Grab him before he makes a break for it.

MAN                  : No, I don’t want to run anymore.

GINGER          : Will you stay?

MAN                  : I will.

FOX                    : Awww… they’re so sweet.

GINGER and MAN look at each other all silly and sappy.

BAKER             : You think I used a little too much sugar?

The light gets bright like a sunrise.  Happy music plays.  The entire cast comes out and everyone breaks out in dance (insert musical number here).

IGOR                 : And so Ginger and the Gingerbread Man lived…

ALL                    : Happily Ever After!



Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: